Blog
Love Affair

Love Affair

This ongoing love affair with my beloved has consumed me to the point that nothing’s left the depth of my surrender is absolute I want or need nothing else then her she is so close that she completely annihilates me and it is perfectly clear I never was apart from her...

read more
Deep dark

Deep dark

I am so submerged in the deep dark that I find it impossible to smile since there is no happiness here neither any kind of sorrow just this impersonal sense of exceptional peacefulness with everything just as it is, always exactly that, perfection which is clearly...

read more
How Everything is Love

How Everything is Love

One of my fellow participants on a retreat with Jeannie Zandi once told us about her devastating childhood and it touched me to the core. The abandonment and loneliness of her story reminded me of my own childhood and it killed me. I couldn’t get over it. I didn’t...

read more
Dissolving

Dissolving

This dissolving into love-shit isn’t pretty my beautiful serene ‘spiritual’ face distorted into every human emotion imaginable small and childish they come and take me robbing me of all my arrogance there is nothing anymore I can claim to be above ridiculous all my...

read more
The not knowing

The not knowing

We are in uncertain times, and what we can learn from these times is how to be with not-knowing. When our usual routine gets interrupted, we realize that we cannot take anything for granted. Our lives can change completely in an instance and our illusion of safety...

read more
What we are is peace

What we are is peace

My teacher told me the story of the monks who were happily meditating when a bunch of savage looking guys with big curved swords ran inside screaming. The monks didn’t move a muscle and the biggest meanest guy stood right in front of one of the monks, held up his...

read more
Being Held by Sacredness

Being Held by Sacredness

    Spirituality is an experience and each of us has our own relationship with it. We can read one hundred books but if we just read it with our minds, and it is not an actual experience, then it is simply a way for the ego to grab onto thinking it knows...

read more
About fear

About fear

As long as I can remember I have had panic attacks in the night about not being able to breath. Here I am again, waking up suddenly in a total panic and I jump out of bed and try to calm myself. I walk around a bit, shake my arms and legs and feel the sensation in my...

read more
Walking Each Other Home

Walking Each Other Home

We don’t really know anything because nothing is set, apart from some Universal truths as “everything is love” and “we are all one.” Even those truths can only be known by feeling them, not by the mind. Apart from those there are many, many different truths each...

read more

my world is my mirror
it shows me perfectly
that what is not resting yet
that what still feels separate
from the love that I am