Humbling

As a Dutch person I am prone to arrogance. I am not sure why it is that we Dutch are seemingly more arrogant then a lot of other cultures (maybe except the French 😊) but I know it doesn’t say anything about our underlying self acceptance, because arrogance is just the other side of insecurity.

So my journey has been and still is a journey of humbling. Along the way I started to see the advantage of being humbled. You see, the problem with arrogance is that it is a very lonely business. I am better then everybody else, more spiritual, wiser, and that is great and makes me feel somewhat good, but it is so lonely up here!

I remember the first time when i showed a group of people how insecure I was underneath my air of spirituality. It was excruciating because there was so much shame and humiliation, but it was such a relieve! Nothing to hold up anymore. I could just relax and be one of them! I ended up with the rest of the hopeless people in a cuddle pile and I never before felt such a sense of belonging.

People who are prone to arrogance are often people who isolate. Cause it is hard to stay arrogant with the mirror of other people around us. It is much easier to stay in illusion when we don’t get confronted with our own weirdness. That is partly the function of the arrogance: to stay high and dry. Cause what is hiding away underneath is so very shameful. Scary things like neediness and jealousy, insecurity and unworthiness.

But in the end the choice is simple, do I want to be ‘better than’ and lonely, or do I want to jump in the mud and get messy. Cause life is messy and interactions bring out one’s messiness.

Embodiment is about owning every part of ourselves even if it is embarrassing as hell. The freedom that comes with that is amazing. The love that comes free after the humbling is done is beautiful. When we don’t need to be better than other people anymore, we can just be who we are in every moment and love others for who they are.